Meows, Magic & Manslaughter (Lake Forest Witches Book 2) Read online

  Meows, Magic & Manslaughter

  Madison Johns

  Copyright © 2015 Madison Johns

  Meows, Magic & Manslaughter Madison Johns

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  Meows, Magic & Manslaughter

  Life in Lake Forest is interesting enough with new witch Petunia Patterson creating potions that actually work and communicating telepathically with her cat, Pansy, who was once a man until one of those potions accidently changed him into an animal.

  But things heat up when Petunia is threatened by the mayor with a five-thousand-dollar fine for breaking a local ordinance for making these potions from home.

  Then things quickly go from bad to worse when Petunia marches over to the mayor’s house with plans to plead to his wife Bonnie about changing the ordinance. There, Petunia discovers the body of Florence McHenry floating face down in the pool. Since Florence had an affair with the mayor recently, Bonnie is certainly in the hot seat. Petunia and her neighbor Noah vow to get to the bottom of the mystery and discover who is trying to frame Bonnie for the murder.

  Chapter One

  Petunia strutted up the stairs and into the government building. When she spotted the Mayor, she waved a paper she held. Mayor Hopkins darted into his office and closed the door with a slam.

  Petunia’s hands went to her hips. “Of all the nerve.”

  Chastity Bennet shrugged as she handed the cashier a check to pay her taxes. Then Petunia heard a voice, but she couldn’t see anyone at first. Finally, she realized that a woman was indeed speaking to her from behind the counter. Petunia stood on her tippy toes looking over the ledge, and saw that the woman who stood on the other side could barely see over the counter herself.

  Suddenly there was a screeching sound that hurt Petunia’s ears. It sounded like someone was dragging something metal across the floor or like nails on a chalkboard. The woman from behind the counter appeared and was quite able to see Petunia now as she said, “How may I help you?”

  Petunia looked at the woman’s delicate features. She had dark hair and sported a pixie cut. On the purple shirt she wore was a name tag with the word Serenity displayed on it.

  “Serenity, is that your name?”

  “Yes, this isn’t like a strip club where we’re given names to use, you know.”

  “I didn’t mean that.” Petunia frowned. “It’s a nice name, actually. Your parents are quite clever to have named you that.”

  “What can I help you with, Miss Patterson?” Serenity asked.

  “How do you know my name? I’ve never seen you working here before.”

  “I was told that you’d be stopping by and they gave me the lowdown on you.”

  Petunia didn’t like the sound of that. “Meaning?”

  “Just that you’d be here to speak with the mayor, is all. I was told to tell you that the mayor was too busy to speak with anyone today.”

  “Oh, is that why he ran into his office like a scared rabbit?”

  “He’s overloaded with paperwork, or so he claimed.” When Petunia frowned, Serenity added, “I could look the other way, you know. It’s time for my break now.”

  “You’re going to get us into trouble,” the cashier said. “How would you explain her sudden appearance at his office door when we’d have to buzz her in?”

  “She must have snuck in when I was leaving for break,” Serenity said.

  “Perhaps we should both go on break, then,” the cashier suggested.

  “And leave the counter unattended.”

  “I don’t care how you do it,” Petunia began. “I just need to see the mayor sometime today.”

  Serenity walked through the door that barred anyone from entering behind the counter, where there was access to three offices, one of which was the mayor’s. As Serenity passed her, Petunia mouthed a thank you. From this proximity, it was clear that Serenity wasn’t a little person like Petunia had thought, but she was barely four feet, if that, and the counter was certainly tall. It’s almost like when they designed this building they had thought someone might someday just try and scale that counter. Of course Petunia would have tried it if they hadn’t allowed her back, although she’d certainly cover for Serenity. No sense in trying to get the girl in trouble.

  Petunia strode to the mayor’s office and knocked. When he didn’t answer, she tried the door and opened it, stepping inside the room and closing it behind her for privacy’s sake.

  Mayor Hopkins’ eyes widened as he spoke into the phone. “I’ll be home soon, dear.”

  When he hung up, Petunia said, “I hope that was you wife, and err … not someone else.”

  “As you probably know, my wife insisted that Florence McHenry resign.”

  “I see. Well, that’s not really why I’m here.”

  “I know that, but how did you get back here? My staff knows better than to let anyone who doesn’t work here behind the counter.”

  “I slipped through the door when one of your employees went for break. I’m pretty light on my feet, you know.”

  “I imagine you are, but I’m too busy to talk to you today, Petunia.”

  Or any day, Petunia thought. “I know, but since I’m here you might as well hear me out.”

  Petunia handed the mayor the paper she had received in the mail. She waited while the mayor read it and then handed it back to her.

  “I’m quite aware of this. I sent it out just yesterday.”

  “But I don’t understand. What is the problem?”

  “One of your neighbors complained that you’re making potions in your home.”

  “Which neighbor would this be, let me guess … Cora? You do know that woman is off her rocker, right?”

  “Are you making potions in your home?”

  “Of course I am, and my aunt sells them at her shop, as you know.”

  “Well, the area you live in has an ordinance against running a business.”

  “I’m not running a business there. I’m just making potions.”

  “Either way, it’s against the ordinance and if you don’t desist in your, er … potion making, I’ll be forced to fine you five thousand dollars.”

  “Five thousand!” Petunia gasped. “Certainly there is a way to work this out. I’m not even sure how Cora would even know what I’m doing in my own home. Does she have some kind of spy cam set up? It wouldn’t surprise me really, since she’s tried to oust me from the neighborhood.”

  “You’ll just have to find yourself another place to whip up your potions, that’s all. From my understanding, you blew things up in your chemistry class back in high school.”

  “That was a long time ago, mayor. It’s not like I’m messing around with anything combustible.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Please do yourself a favor and make your potions elsewhere.”

  “And you’re not looking at perhaps rezoning my n
eighborhood?”

  “That would take time and right now, I have more pressing matters. Of course if you’d like to file the paperwork, it might be looked at by the city council next year.”

  “Next year?” Petunia had to calm down. This wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “Okay, I see what you’re saying, but I think it stinks. I don’t know why that Cora won’t mind her own business.”

  Petunia didn’t stick around to hear what the mayor had to say about her final words, since she knew he could care less about her problems with the ever-present and snoopiest of all of her neighbors. It almost made her want to pack up and move somewhere Cora didn’t live—in fact, she would be tempted to leave right now if it wasn’t for her hunky neighbor Noah Becker, that is. She’d had a few dates with him, but she didn’t really want to move anyway. She loved her New England-style home and so did her cats, Merlin, Sassy, and Gem. Of course then there was Pansy, who was really a man named Jeremy—at least he had been before she changed him into a cat when she gave him a love potion, but that was all before she had found out that she was indeed a witch and not just a maker of potions. Now she couldn’t exactly zap up things like on that Bewitched show, but her potions did have magical powers, like the time she gave Lucy Winters a healing salve. Lucy went from being riddled with arthritis to winning the Lake Forest Marathon, which was really quite miraculous for a woman of eighty.

  Petunia walked across the street, making her way though the park. By cutting through it she could cut off fifteen minutes of walking since she didn’t own a car. Lake Forest, Michigan, had everything she needed. Her Aunt Maxine owned a shop called Mystical Remedies that sold her current potions, which had begun to sell like hotcakes.

  Noah was outside washing his 80s Camaro, a car he was proud of owning based on the time he spent washing and waxing it, but that’s where it stopped. He wasn’t so weird about it that he’d make anyone take his or her shoes off to get in.

  Petunia nodded at Noah as she walked past him and he said, “Is that all I get today, a nod? I thought after two dates I had worked up into a hello, at least.”

  She whirled around and smiled. “Fine, hello. I’m just too lost in thought today, I guess.” The truth was that Petunia didn’t want to act too eager. A woman needed to play her feelings down until she knew for certain how a man really felt, but it was too early to know yet if the dating between them would take off or not.

  “Oh, not another crime spree, I hope,” Jeremy said with a twinkle in his eyes.

  “No, and I’m too upset to talk about it right now. I’m sure you have more important things to do, like get ready for the sheriff’s race soon.”

  Noah went back to washing his car instead of answering, which made Petunia wonder what was up with that, but she went into her house instead of prying. He had come to Lake Forest with the intent to run for sheriff, or so he said, but he certainly didn’t have anything to say about starting his campaign. She wondered why …

  Her cats, Merlin, Gem, and Sassy, raced forward when she walked through the door, bellowing out a series of meows that she knew meant, “Feed us, we’re starving.”

  And as if they really did say that, Pansy said, “They’re always starving.” He pranced into the room. “Where did you go in such a hurry this morning?”

  “To talk to the Mayor about the ordinance I’m apparently breaking by making potions in my house. It seems someone has reported me and I don’t have to guess who. That darn Cora has it out for me.” Cora did, too, and she was Petunia’s neighbor to the rear of her house.

  “Why should that surprise you? Everyone knows she’s a snoop. She watches everything us cats do, too.”

  “Oh, and since when did you decide to refer to yourself as a cat, not your human self?”

  “Look, you turned me into a cat and there’s no going back. Princess told me all about how the potion is irreversible. I’ve decided that being a cat is way easier than being a human. I don’t have to ever work or pay bills, and I can sleep as long as I want to.”

  Princess was Aunt Maxine’s cat, who used to be a woman Petunia’s grandfather was interested in years ago, before Aunt Maxine gave the woman a love potion and changed her into a cat. Grandfather never found out what happened to her, but he must have suspected something since he really hasn’t spoken to his sister since. Then again, people had already suspected that Aunt Maxine was a witch.

  “Oh, and you don’t miss the other parts, like being with a woman?”

  “No need to rub that in, Petunia. From the looks of it you don’t do well in that area, either.”

  “I don’t think I care for where this conversation is going.”

  “Good, then when are we leaving for your aunt’s shop?”

  “What makes you think we’re going there?”

  “Because you’ll have to complain to someone.”

  “You have no idea who I am or what spurs me to action, Pansy.”

  “Look, Red. I’ve been living with you for a while now and you’re as transparent as a dryer sheet. Just like how you look next door wherever you pass by to see if you can catch Noah outside.”

  Pansy was so right, but she wasn’t about to tell him that. “Let me feed the cats and we’ll leave.”

  “After I eat, you mean. Those other cats don’t care if I miss a meal when I’m napping. That Merlin won’t stay out of my dish.”

  “You’ll have to sort that one out. I have faith in you, Pansy.”

  Petunia fed the cats and popped the lid of a diet cola, taking a hearty sip while the animals ate. Sure enough, when Merlin was finished, he went straight for Pansy’s dish.

  “Hey, Merlin. Stop that,” Petunia said. When he didn’t stop and was almost in a fight with Pansy, Petunia went over and picked up Merlin. “Now, that’s enough. You’re packing on the pounds as it is, and now I know why.”

  Merlin threw his head back and stared up at the ceiling like he had no idea what she was even talking about. That’s pretty much how it goes with cats. Petunia was just lucky that Merlin was enjoying the way she was rubbing him under the chin until she stopped, then he gave her a small nip.

  Pansy nosed his dish away and strutted over, licking his face now. Once he had finished, Pansy said, “Let’s go, Red. Time waits for no one.”

  Petunia snapped on Pansy’s leash and they left in the direction of Mystical Remedies. This time she passed Noah’s house without looking for him, just to prove to Pansy that she could.

  Chapter Two

  Petunia sighed as she paced her aunt’s shop, Mystical Remedies, not ten minutes later.

  “Would you stop that, Petunia? You’re going to wear a hole in the floor,” Aunt Maxine said.

  “That’s easy for you to say, your life isn’t about over like mine is.”

  Aunt Maxine laughed. “No? I’m eighty, dear, and it’s safe to say that I’m much closer to death than you.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I was talking about what the mayor is doing to me.”

  “What on earth are you talking about?”

  “Here we go,” Pansy said.

  Petunia gave Pansy a look and then let all her pent up anxiety go onto her aunt. “Oh, that Cora must have complained to the Mayor about me making potions in my house and now it seems I’m breaking an ordinance that I didn’t even know existed. Apparently, you can’t run a business from your home in my neighborhood.”

  “It’s not a business, you just—”

  “I know. I told him I was only making potions, but he doesn’t care and he’s threatened to fine me five thousand dollars if I don’t desist.”

  Aunt Maxine just shook her head. “Now that is a problem, did you speak to him about re-zoning where you live?”

  “Oh he told me all right and that the city council might look at a petition to do just that, next year,” Petunia said.

  Aunt Maxine laughed. “That sounds just like Mayor Hopkins.” She walked over and grabbed a feather duster, handing it to Petunia. “Be a dear and dust that top shelf, w
ould you.”

  Petunia walked over and grabbed the three-step ladder and climbed it, moving the duster across the top of the shelf. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “You could whip up another potion and turn Cora into a cat. That way she won’t be able to complain anymore about what you’re doing.”

  Petunia brows knitted. “Can you imagine that battle axe as a cat? She’d be the meanest one ever.”

  “You’re probably right. I suppose if people start disappearing at alarming numbers while the cat population explodes, you’ll have the townspeople gathering outside your house with torches.”

  Petunia sneezed as clumps of dust cascaded off the shelf, bubbles erupting from her nose. “Well, it seems like the bubbles are back?” Aunt Maxine said.

  “They never left. It happens less and less, but whenever I sneeze here they are. It’s quite hard to cover up at times.” As it so happened, the bubble ailment came from the time when Petunia had made a batch of herbal tea and a few drops of liquid bubbles had ended up in her cup, as well. Since it wasn’t a potion from the book, there wasn’t a cure as of yet.

  “I bet. What about the mayor’s wife? She seems to like you, didn’t you give her one of your herbal salves for her knees?”

  “Yes, but I’d hate to go over there and try to pull rank just to get what I want.”

  “Why ever not? You’ll only be asking her to see if your property might be rezoned before next year.”

  “Oh, I’m not so sure. I’d hate to ask Bonnie to get involved. Her husband is the mayor, not her.”

  “From the way I heard Bonnie talk, she holds all of his purse strings, even putting up with the mayor’s affairs.”

  Petunia clattered down the ladder and said, “I just can’t do that. It just wouldn’t be right.”

  “Oh, and what will you do in regards to the potions you make, if you can’t do them at your house?”

  Petunia blinked her eyes. “I thought I could make them right here.” When her aunt’s brow shot up, Petunia added, “Or at your house on the hill?”